Iphone Anonymous: My name is Ann & I'm an addict

I bought a new phone yesterday.  I innocently went into the AT&T store in my middle class neighborhood and who knew it was actually a Crack House. 
I was given a taste of the glossy, colorful world-in-your-hand toy called The Iphone.  Ooooo...so pretty, so entertaining, so mesmerizing...
No, no...don't take it away...I want to play some more. 
Alas, only the first taste is free.  So I nearly broke my arm getting my credit card out. Yes! I want one! Sign me up! I'll sign anything! Just give me back that toy!  Ahhhhh...that's better. Mine! All Mine! My Precious!
(Hughesnet...eat your heart out.)